Sunday, August 31, 2014

Why I Love Montreal And French People

Via text:

Her: How's your trip going?
Me: Love this city!!
Her: Glad you are enjoying it!!!:D
Me: Sooooo great!!!!!
Her: I'm happy for u:)
Me: French people are amazing! So nice! So passionate! So liberal! So fashionable!

Stages Of Lesbian Breakups

1. Crying
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Breaking sh**
5. Chocolate
6. Hating yourself
7. Getting back together with your ex
8. Hating yourself more than step 6
9. Singing "Untouchable face" by Ani DiFranco at an unreasonable decibel
10.Acceptance and realizing you are a whole person all by yourself.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Losing My Montreal Poutine Virginity

Her: The secret to poutine is the sauce. Too much sauce and the fries get soggy. Also, the cheese. The cheese is very important. It must be heated but not too much and it should be a bit crunchy on the outside.

She gracefully swirls some cheese and pulled pork on her fork.

Her: When I make poutine I buy all the ingredients from different shops. A special kind of curd cheese. The meat. The fries from a specialty place.

I sip my red wine.
Her sweater and necklace glimmer in the light.

Me: So, the best poutine in Montreal is at your house.

I smile.
She laughs.

Her: Yes.



Queer Montreal Guide

*** Here is the link for the new guide guys***
http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/09/lesbian-guide-to-montreal.html
Cheers!

Hey guys!
So since arriving in Montreal I attempted to find all the best lesbian hang out spots. Sadly, about 50% of the places on each list I found were closed and the queer city guides were suuuuuper out of date. So I am building one! Enjoy:)
L'Gros Luxe: I LOVE THIS PLACE! I had the most delicious grilled cheese sandwich of my entire f***ing life. There are no words. Jut insanely good. They have delicious drinks and everyone who works there is super hot. Just sayin. Easy on the eyes.
http://www.lgrosluxe.com/#about

Bar Le Cocktail: We went here for Karaoke and it was super fun. It's located in the "Gaybourhood" aka the Gay Village. They had a drag show on when we arrived. Thier selection of songs for karaoke is very extensive. Good times.
http://www.barlecocktail.com/

Boutique Delano Design: The staff here are super nice! They carry incredible brands. They are stylists and will dress you up. Love love love this shop. Also, it is located in the Old Port which is SO beautiful. You must go.
http://boutiquedelanodesign.com/

Alexandra Platz: This place is in a garage. They have 2 huge walls that open up and a cool bar. This is where I met the cute girl selling tacos. The drinks are good and everyone sits on these benches. Pretty chill place. I recommend checking it out.
http://www.alexandraplatzbar.com/
Boutique 1861: This place is a fem-lesbian dream shopping experience. SO MANY SPARKLES OMGGAWWWWDDDD. I want everything in here. Fantastic dresses. So girly. So fantastic. Love love love this clothing store.
http://1861.ca/

Bar Waverly: They have loud music and it's a cool place to go maybe on a first date if you want to have to get really close to each other to hear each other speak. Nothing breaks the ice on a first date like having the other person's hair stuck to your lip gloss while you make small talk.
http://barwaverly.com/

Casa Del Popolo: AMAZING LIVE MUSIC! They have awesome furniture and this place is super chill. All kinds of people were at this place. They have insanely cheap drinks and good food. The cover is by donation which is kind of nice. And really, the bands are fantastic.
http://casadelpopolo.com/

Le Cagibi: They play rap music and the atmosphere is funky. Good coffee. Good breakfast food. Mile End is a great area to hang out with in general if you are queer.
http://www.lecagibi.ca/

Mme Lee: Today I learned that Mme stands for "Madam"in French. It was a nice, trendy, classy place. Good food and drinks. I would go again.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bar-Mme-Lee/281506475211476

Climb up Mount Royal: You will sweat, but it will feel good! Beautiful views and nice to get fresh air. Lots of people at the top had puppies too! I said hi to all of them. You should too.

Big In Japan: Beautiful interior! Good drinks! Pricey but worth a trip to check it out for sure! The man at the door wears a bow-tie. I mean, how can you go wrong?!
http://www.yelp.ca/biz/big-in-japan-bar-montr%C3%A9al

Suwu: This place is great and it's located on St. Laurent which is a beautiful street to explore. We got poutine and it was so incredibly tasty.
http://rsvpmedia.com/blog/suwu-neighborhood-bar/
Juiette Et Chocolat: I died and went to heaven. Their chocolate salad blew my mind. Just wow.
http://www.julietteetchocolat.com/



MORE TO COME SOON AS I ADVENTURE ON!:)





Lesbian Hit List

"It's all vegetarian." she says.
She has a tattoo of a chemistry element on her left shoulder and a see-through white tank top on with a black bra. I order a black coffee.
Rap music blares. Gun shots and swear words fly freely past the house plants and through the open windows and doors into the street.
Chemistry tattoo girl hands me a coffee in a cup from the 80's. I read online that this is where the beautiful lesbians with attitude hang out so I added it to my lesbian Mile End hit list.
I observe the local characters in a pre-coffee haze. Wide eyes, like....well...like a newborn lesbian in a tank top with a screen printed crying kitten on it. Two bearded men sit beside me. One is reading "The Animal Rights Debate". Two women go by pushing a baby carriage.
The owner wears a sideways baseball cap and has sweaty short black hair. She has a tattoo of a city landscape with several outlines of puppies. I immediately like her. Dog people- we flock together.
We make eye contact for a second. I mess up my hair in a backwards motion in an attempt at cool casualness and look away. She looks away. I look at her. She looks at me. I look away. She looks at me. I look at her.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Lesbian Guide To Montreal

Hey guys!
On my recent trip to Montreal (wooooyeahbaby!) I attempted to find all the best lesbian hang out spots using online guides. Sadly, about 50% of the places on each queer guide I found no longer existed.
So, because I love you with all of my big squishy lesbie heart I built you a new one!
Some of these places might not seem gay. "Why are they on this list?" you might ask. Well my friends, because this is the GAYEST CITY EVER. EVER. No, seriously. Even straight women in Montreal.... there are some shades of rainbow kickin around there.
So go, run to this blissful lesbian paradise and find the girl of your dreams! Use my guide. Also, get lost lots! Meet strangers! Get a lesbian haircut(http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/shaved-my-head-lesbian-haircuts-for.html)! Eat the best chocolate of your life! Dance until 3am!
I made so many new friends- the most genuine and beautiful people inside and out.
There is something magical about this city. You won't go home the same.

L'Gros Luxe: I LOVE THIS PLACE! I had the most delicious grilled cheese sandwich of my entire f***ing life. There are no words. Jut insanely good. They have delicious drinks and everyone who works there is super hot. Just sayin. Easy on the eyes.
http://www.lgrosluxe.com/#about

Bar Le Cocktail: We went here for Karaoke and it was super fun. It's located in the "Gaybourhood" aka the Gay Village. They had a drag show on when we arrived. Their selection of songs for karaoke is very extensive. Good times. Lot's of cute lesbians everywhere in this place.
http://www.barlecocktail.com/

Boutique Delano Design (Clothing Store): The staff here are super nice! They carry incredible brands. They are stylists and will dress you up. Love love love this shop. Also, it is located in the Old Port which is SO beautiful. You must go.
My blog about shopping there: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/the-parisian-way-following-love.html
The store website is http://boutiquedelanodesign.com/

Alexandra Platz: This place is in a garage. They have 2 huge walls that open up and a cool bar. This is where I met the cute girl selling tacos. The drinks are good and everyone sits on these benches. Pretty chill place. I recommend checking it out.
My blog about Alexandra Platz and also about Montreal Fashion Week:  http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/montreal-fashion-week-and-crushing-on_24.html
Here is the restaurant website: http://www.alexandraplatzbar.com/
Boutique 1861: This place is a fem-lesbian dream shopping experience. SO MANY SPARKLES OMGGAWWWWDDDD. I want everything in here. Fantastic dresses. So girly. So fantastic. Love love love this clothing store.
http://1861.ca/

Bar Waverly: They have loud music and it's a cool place to go maybe on a first date if you want to have to get really close to each other to hear each other speak. Nothing breaks the ice on a first date like having the other person's hair stuck to your lip gloss while you make small talk.
http://barwaverly.com/

Casa Del Popolo: AMAZING LIVE MUSIC! They have awesome furniture and this place is super chill. All kinds of people were at this place. They have insanely cheap drinks and good food. The cover is by donation which is kind of nice. And really, the bands are fantastic. I saw this kick-ass local band called Mehdi Cayenne Club. I wouldn't be surprised if they are super famous one day. If you are in town look them up and try to find a show.
http://casadelpopolo.com/
Le Cagibi: They play rap music and the atmosphere is funky. Good coffee. Good breakfast food. Mile End is a great area to hang out with in general if you are queer. The staff are tattooed and super bad-ass. My blog about this place http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/lesbian-hit-list.html
The restaurant website is http://www.lecagibi.ca/

Mme Lee: Today I learned that Mme stands for "Madam"in French. It was a nice, trendy, classy place. Good food and drinks. I would go again.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bar-Mme-Lee/281506475211476

Climb up Mount Royal: You will sweat, but it will feel good! Beautiful views and nice to get fresh air. Lots of people at the top had puppies too! I said hi to all of them. You should too.
gawwww! pupppppppyyyyysssssssssss!!!!!

Big In Japan: Beautiful interior! Good drinks! Pricey but worth a trip to check it out for sure! The man at the door wears a bow-tie. I mean, how can you go wrong?!
http://www.yelp.ca/biz/big-in-japan-bar-montr%C3%A9al

Suwu: This place is great and it's located on St. Laurent which is a beautiful street to explore. We got poutine and it was so incredibly tasty.
My blog about eating poutine: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/losing-my-montreal-poutine-virginity.html
The restaurant website is http://rsvpmedia.com/blog/suwu-neighborhood-bar/
yumyumyumyumyumyumyum

La Distillerie: They have all sorts of delicious drinks in canning jars. It's super chill and the drinks are tasty. They have a list of funny rules on the wall like, "Introduce Yourself To Your Neighbour".

Juiette Et Chocolat: I died and went to heaven. Their chocolate salad blew my mind. Just wow.
My blog about eating there: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/09/rainbow-kitty-prevails-nevrrrrrr-gonna.html
The restaurant website is http://www.julietteetchocolat.com/

So, there you are! All my favourite places! I can't wait to visit again. What a great city. 
I love you Montreal. 
xo
Brandy

Monday, August 25, 2014

The Parisian Way: Following Love

She rolls up the ankle of my left leather pant twice.
"This, is the Parisian way." she says in her perfect French accent.
She is stunning and effortlessly cool.
"How did you end up here in Montreal?" I ask.
"Love." she says.

Mehdi Cayenne Club In Montreal: Casa De Popolo

"This guy is a force of nature!" my friend yells in my ear.
The singer's leg kicks out wildly and he flips his hair around. He's captivating-like a young Mick Jagger.
We are mesmerized.
The crowd nods and hips sway.
Christmas lights are strung around the bar and a rainbow flag hangs by the waitress.
I definitely recommend Casa De Popolo. Beautiful architecture. Good cider. Yummy nachos. And REALLY REALLY good music.

Here is the link for the band. They are SO good live. Wowza. http://mehdicayenneclub.bandcamp.com/

Here is the link for the bar which fricking rocks and has beautiful plants and furniture! My new friend
(the cute lady in short shorts who sells taco's. Here is my blog about her if you missed that http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/montreal-fashion-week-and-crushing-on_24.html
Anyways, she told me about Casa De Popolo! She rocks and gave me a big list of things to check out. I might build that lesbian Montreal guide that I mentioned in my last post. My way to "pay-it-forward" mayhaps.

Anyhow, Casa De Popolo is super cozy and funky. Lot's of different people there too. I think anyone could feel comfortable in this place. http://casadelpopolo.com/

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Montreal Fashion Week And Crushing On Insanely Cute French Girl In Short Shorts Selling Tacos

Bonjour!

Writing you today from my best friend's living room in MONTREAL!!! Woooooo!!!! He is playing the violin. I am sitting on his white couch recovering from last night's debauchery. It involved a hipster garage bar in Mile End and I met an insanely cute girl in short shorts selling tacos. Sigh. So cute. I may never recover.
And yes, she really was selling tacos. Too many jokes. Too many. Go ahead, you know you want to.  

So! I randomly ended up at Montreal Fashion Week yesterday! I started the day off by going to the Gay Village (which I have decided to only refer to as the "gaybourhood" from now on haha) and saw all the pink balloons hanging in the air. I saw some cool place I had read about on Autostraddle. http://www.autostraddle.com/
Sadly their lesbian Montreal guide is a bit out of date and a lot of the places they suggest are closed. I wish someone would make a new one. Maybe I should do that actually. Hohum

Side note: I am blown away by how incredibly nice people are here in Montreal. So. Nice. Just wow. 

Anyways, I heard this really great electronic music and started following it up Saint Catherine's Street and ended up in an area covered in tents. I met some really nice people from Pink Tartan and also made a new stylist friend named Alexandra Melancon. In her booth she had this quiz to find out your fashion style. Mine apparently is "Rock" and also "Androgyny". .....Made me laugh because after my friend saw my new haircut she was like, "This half of your hair is so glamorous! And the other side is like, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" 
Haha!
Here is the link to my Montreal Lesbian Haircut/ Shaved My Head adventure if you missed that:
Oh so yes, I was saying I followed the electronic music and ended up at this kick-ass runway show. Lots of fur. Got some good pics. I will attach them. 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Shaved my head! (Lesbian haircuts for everyone!)

"No no! Take it down to here!" says the tall French man with black square glasses. He is fabulously chic. The kind of man you trust with a razor.
Behind him shoe forms are strung in the window with feathers hanging off of them. I actually thought it was a clothing store when I first walked in. But then once I realized I was in a hairshop I decided to shave part of my hair off! Haha!
He comes over to where I'm sitting and puts his finger on my neck. "If you are going to do it-DO IT! he says. "You don't want it the same as everyone else's. Everyone is doing it the same. Do it angular at the back like this!" he says.
"Ok! Yes! Let's do it!" I say.
Big eyes.
My hands shake.
Was it the 2 espressos? Low blood sugar?
A foot long chunk of my hair comes off in her hand. O.M.G!!!! I've done it now. The girl with purple hair and tattoos starts the electric razor. It buzzes happily. I'm filled with excitement and terror.
We all peer in the mirror together.
"Fucking awesome. Perfect for a fashion designer." says the wise French man. The tattooed girl nods in approval.
My first official lesbian haircut. Haha!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Deep Fried Dill Pickles At The 90's Lesbian Party

(In my mind upon immediate entry into the bar): WHOAH! This place is full of lesbians with lesbian haircuts wearing lesbian clothes!
(Still in my mind): Nooooo, you are delusional! You are just seeing lesbians everywhere because you just came out of the closet. You are being a nutter!
The barefoot brunette singer/songwriter sits on a stool on a Persian rug. An old green oscillating fan blocks part of my view to the stage. She picks her guitar and sings like Ani DiFranco. Half of the people in the bar have half of their heads shaved. They are wearing oversized tees and have tattoos. If there was a door prize it would probably be a Katie Lang CD. A large group of women are playing pool. 
I feel like I should be in the Sixth Sense- "I see....gay people!"
I tell my mind to be quiet and order a glass of wine. My girlfriend orders deep fried dill pickles. 
Then she turns to me, "There are a lot of lesbians here...I think we are at a 90's lesbian party."

OH THANK GOSH I thought I was going crazy!
What are the odds??!


God doesn't love lesbians?

So, the first official comment tonight on my blog from someone not happy with my GAY GAY GAY lifestyle choices.
Ahem, sorry. I just love telling people the truth. The truth that I'm super gay. I love women. Beautiful, smart, strong, women who rock my world.
I suspected this would happen eventually as my blog has BLOWN UP in popularity(3000 views in one month). Yup, I said 3000.

Ryan,
You don't like that I'm a lesbian?
I don't like your judgemental disposition.
Oh, and the only "wrong" thing I ever did was lie about who I was for 27 years.
Have to go see my gorgeous girlfriend now. Ciao.

The blog post and his comment is here:
http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/sex-drugs-and-falling-in-love.html?showComment=1408589986949




Monday, August 18, 2014

Women Aren't Public Property

All I wanted was to go dance in the rain in a giant pink raincoat. It was pouring. I was rocking out in my flip flops in the soggy bark. Rain pouring down my face. My wet hair stuck to my neck. I felt clean and beautiful.
And then out of no where a man grabbed me in sexual manner.
You might be thinking, "Oh, she was asking for it with her provocative clothing." 
But no, a giant a-line raincoat, no makeup left on my face, and messy soaked hair was not me "asking for it". The absolute only information this guy had was that I'm female. And somehow he felt entitled to disrespect my personal space and sexually harass me.  
What is wrong with some men? Women are actual PEOPLE.
You don't have a Mom? Sister? Grandma? 
I bet you can ask any woman you know and this has happened to her. 
It's really bugging me since it actually happened to me not once, but TWICE this weekend. And the fact that I was wearing a raincoat that looks like a pink tent while it happened really REALLY bothered me.
I don't normally like to post super serious stuff but this shit is real and should be talked about. Women's bodies aren't public property. 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Lesbian Diction Class With Brandy. Partner vs girlfriend.

Happy Sunday morning people! How are you? Do you need some Advil and vernacular clarity? 
Step into my lesbi-dictionary. 

Her: Do you have a boyfriend?

(I already told her twice that I have a girlfriend)

Me: No, I have a girlfriend....like.....a girlfriend.....I'm gay

Her: Ohhhhhhh!!!
Me: Yaaaa!!! Haha
We both laugh. 

Do we have to use the word "partner"? 
I really don't want to. It sounds like we are joint owners of a door-to-door vacuum repair shop.