Him: Did you boil your water?
Me: Ya, thanks. You?
Me: Where? Your place is so quiet. Is it a party for the deaf?
Him: Ya man, I'm going to buy some bottled water and watch the new Louis CK special
Me: oooOOOooooo for realz? Can I come? I'm partially deaf! And since it's not safe to shower(is it safe to shower?!) and I've watched all of season 4 of Girls
Him: Ya sure I will let you know when I'm back. I'm sure it's safe to shower though
....you guys, if I die please rescue me but don't look, ok?